According to statistics, 50% of marriages fail, including christian marriages. This is soo sad because it is our heavenly Father that created marriage and gave us every tool we need to succeed in marriage. My husband and I have only been married for 5 years, however in this short time, I believe I’ve picked up a few things along the way.
Marriage is a beautiful journey. A journey that is full of all the emotions of life. Marriage is the most intimate relationship anyone could have. A successful marriage is made up of many components, however, here are three things I learned that are vital in ANY and EVERY marital relationship: Faith, Communications, Intimacy and Trust. Yes, love is extremely important in a successful life, but there are many people who love one another, but their marriage did not last (food for thought).
Now, don’t get me wrong I have seen married couples from two different religions have a long-lasting marriage. That is where understanding comes in. Faith for most people, who have a faith, influences almost every part of one’s life, decisions and behavior. If a couple is married and practices two different religions that tell them to act in different ways, how can they work together and build a family/life? Now, it is possible, but difficult. However, if the husband and wife have an understanding, respect and appreciation for one another, then anything is possible.
This is the basic foundation, principle to any relationship whether it be martial, friendship, family or work-related. How can two walk together unless they agree? (Amos 3:3). It is imperative that you talk with your spouse about what is in and on your heart, because many times it will show through your actions. When there are built and bottled up emotions, it’s a recipe for disaster. Hiding your emotions never helps a situation, but talking them out can. Communicating doesn’t always have to be as serious as having an intense conversation, but it can be as simple as talking about what you had for lunch or what you spent your day doing. Your spouse should be your best friend. Talking with your spouse about the little things makes it easier to communicate about more serious things. Constantly communication with your partner builds trust, which is very important in marriage.
In-to-me-see. Intimacy is giving someone else permission to know and see the very depths of who you truly are. That place of intimacy should only be shared with your significant other. Intimacy, within marriage, is one way to show your spouse that you love and care for them and that their needs are important. God created sex for marital enjoyment (and procreation of course). God, in his goodness, created sex and attached many benefits to having sex that make it even more enjoyable.
Many people don’t realize that sex is an important component of marriage. The lack of sexual fulfillment/sex can lead to a strained marriage. Once you’re married, your body is no longer just yours, but your body belongs to your spouse (1 Corinthians 7:4). So, it wouldn’t be right to refrain from having sex with your spouse, unless, you two both agree not to have sex for an extended period of time (1 Corinthians 7:5). Abstaining from sex within marriage for long periods of time is usually not advisable (unless for health related reasons).
Sex is more than just a physical act, it is also involves your soul and spirit. Be sure to share those special moments with your significant other. Hey, why not start tonight?
Trust is “the firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something” (Google definition). So many couples struggle with this. Trust is so fragile; once broken, it is hard to gain back. Do what you say you are going to do and go where you say you are going to go. If you change your mind, communicate that. Trust is much more than fidelity, it touches every part of marriage. Personally, I believe trust (outside of God and love) is what marriage is built on (along with other important things). My advice is that you and your partner start building trust from day one. Without trust, a successful marriage is inevitable.
I know some of you may have dealt with situations in the past that have hindered your ability to exercise trust. If that is you, ask the Lord to help you open your heart to trust again. In time, with time with God, you can be healed. God is in the business of restoration and making people whole again. Be blessed!
With love, Grace
Grace Anyanwu is a Christian psalmist, minister, writer, and author of I Choose to Wait. In 2016, Grace married her love and best friend, Dr. Miracle Anyanwu. She, alongside her husband, presides over various ministries such as Miracle Anyanwu Ministries (M.A.M), I Choose to Wait Movement (I.C.W.),The Miracle Anyanwu Foundation (MAF) – a non-profit charitable organization targeted primarily for the underprivileged in Africa. Grace loves encouraging and inspiring women to live boldly for Christ and she does that through Grace Encourages. Outside of ministry, they love traveling, relaxing on the beach, writing, watching movies, bowling, and spending time with loved ones. They are blessed with four lovely children.