Submission, for some women comes naturally, for others it does not.
Some women treat the word as a taboo four letter word, never to be mentioned. Well, despite what you may or may not feel about submission, it is an important topic for married women and any woman who plans on getting married in the future.
It is a wise woman who builds her home (and submits), only a foolish woman tears down her own home.
A woman who submits is not stupid, but is smart, because she knows that God called women to submit in their marriages and (in a healthy marriage with mentally healthy individuals) the more you submit and honor your husband, the more he should love and honor you).
Despite what today’s culture tells us, submission is very possible and beautiful in marriage.
What does the Bible say about Submission?
I want to discuss 5 ways how you can be (more) submissive to your husband, but before we begin, let’s discover what the bible says about submission. Ephesians 5:21-24 says:
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
As Daughters of God, we can clearly see that the Bible teaches about submission. We also see that Ephesians tells us in verse 21 that husbands and wives should have a mutual respect in a Biblical marriage relationship, out of reverence for God, who made both man and woman in His image and likeness.
It may not always be easy to submit, in fact it takes a spiritually strong woman to follow God’s word and submit.
The bible instructs husbands, too, in Ephesians 5:25-28:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
God expects men to love their wives as themselves, just as Christ loves His church. A man who loves his wife, also respects and honors her. He encourages her, cherishes her and considers her thoughts and feelings.
When a Godly man follows and lives out the word of God, then submission for women is much easier.God gave the man and woman a responsibility towards each other. Biblical submission can only be fully experienced when both the man and woman are in Christ.
But My Husband is not a Christian…
This is where you need to fervently pray and fast for your husband and to ask God to change his heart and to deliver him. You need to pray and ask for God’s grace to help you to be a virtuous wife…it is definitely not easy, but I know that God hears and answers prayers. He is a rewarder for those who diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6b).
May your actions and conduct lead him towards Christ; let him see Christ through you. Pray that God will change his heart and save him. When you do your part to submit to your husband, God sees your heart and will reward you for it — regardless of your husband’s actions.
Let’s look at what the word of God says on this matter.
1 Peter 3:1-2:
“Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
Also, if you need it, do not be afraid to go to christian marriage counseling, ask questions, seek advice and get help from trusted, Christian leaders.
*Please seek help if you are in a life and death situation.
Here are 5 simple ways we can be (more) submissive to our husbands, as Christ has called us to be
1. Find ways to help him/Be his number 1 fan
“The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
-Genesis 2:18
God has called us to be our husband’s helper. The word “helper/help meet” in this verse comes from the Hebrew word “ezer k’enegdo.” Ezer k’enegdo has two meanings in Hebrew (depending on the pronunciations): to rescue/to save and to be strong.
Ezer k’enegdo is mentioned (in the Bible) sixteen times referring to God, as Israel’s helper, three times referring to women, and two times referring to military backing/aid! (We will discuss more about this in a future blog.)
As I reflect on this, I am in awe that God describes women with a word that He used to describe Himself as our defender. Wives, we are meant to battle for Christ, for our husbands, our children, and ultimately, for this world.
God has given us an important role to play in our marriages and homes. We are created by God to do so. We can get things done, plan, organize, assist, lead, teach, intercede, spiritually fight battles etc. Are you your husband’s help meet, can he rely on you? Can he trust you?
Brainstorm
Ask yourself where you can help him. Brainstorm some ideas. What talents/skills do you have that can bless him, you and your home. Two heads are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
Are you super organized? Help him create a schedule, help him get more organized.
Are you an amazing cook? Use your gifts to cook his favorite meals, making him feel loved and appreciated every time he comes home.
Are you a creative person? Use that creativity and add some color to your life, family and home.
Are you a great multi- tasker? Help your husband get things done faster, effectively and more efficiently.
Whatever talents you have, I am sure you can find a way to make your husband happy and glorify God as well.
2. Make him feel important
Men love to be respected/honored. Make sure that when your husband is around you, he feels important. Let him know that you value his opinions and time. Do you know your husband’s love language? If you do not, this book can be very helpful.
I will leave the book link below:
Just for recap, the 5 love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Receiving Gifts
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Can you tell which love language best fits your husband?
It’s the small things that can make a big difference like: greeting him when he comes home from work, cooking him his favorite meals, making his lunch for work, or washing and folding his clothes.
These are just some ideas, there are many other ways you can make him feel valued.
3.. Respect and Honor Him
Tone matters, how you speak to your husband makes a huge difference. When you respect someone, do you really just speak to them in any kind of way? No. You are mindful of what you say and how you say it. You think very well, before you speak. In the same way, you should respect/honor your husband. Now, I am not saying that you shouldn’t be free to be yourself.
We should also do this in our attitudes. You know how we can be, we may not say a word, but my goodness, our non-verbal communication says it all! I pray that God will give us the wisdom on how we can best honor/respect our husbands.
4. Practice gratitude for all the things your husband does
Be grateful for what your husband does (both small and big). Take a few moments to mentally list all the wonderful things your husband does in a typical day and take some time to verbalize your gratitude to him. Thank him often for his good deeds, qualities, and I am sure you will start to see more of them too.
5. Pray for God to give you a heart of submission.
The best way to cultivate a submissive spirit? PRAY. PRAY. PRAY.
Pray that God will give you a spirit of submission. The act of submission is a constant journey, just like our salvation. We constantly have to work it out (Philippians 2:12-23). We are not perfect and we never will be, but one thing is sure, we can grow each and every day.
Even if submission doesn’t come easily to you, don’t worry because we serve a God that can change, mold and shape us into the women he has called us to be.
Are there any other ways that you can show submission?
With love, Grace
Grace Anyanwu is a Christian psalmist, minister, writer, and author of I Choose to Wait. In 2016, Grace married her love and best friend, Dr. Miracle Anyanwu. She, alongside her husband, presides over various ministries such as Miracle Anyanwu Ministries (M.A.M), I Choose to Wait Movement (I.C.W.),The Miracle Anyanwu Foundation (MAF) – a non-profit charitable organization targeted primarily for the underprivileged in Africa. Grace loves encouraging and inspiring women to live boldly for Christ and she does that through Grace Encourages. Outside of ministry, they love traveling, relaxing on the beach, writing, watching movies, bowling, and spending time with loved ones. They are blessed with four lovely children.
